“IT’S A BOY! □” ⠀ ⬆️ That’s what I always pictured myself writing. So it’s probably no surprise that in the same survey, many of those who had experienced a miscarriage reported feeling guilt or shame. Many of those surveyed also incorrectly thought that lifestyle choices, stress, lifting heavy objects, past use of birth control and other preventable things were the leading causes of miscarriage, when in fact genetic problems are. And chances are also good that you know someone who has never talked about it.ĭespite those numbers, a 2013 study from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and Montefiore Health System showed that a majority of survey respondents thought miscarriages were uncommon. But pregnancy loss is startlingly common - according to the Mayo Clinic, 10 to 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage.Ĭhances are, you know someone who has experienced the agony of losing a pregnancy. Per the National Institutes of Health, the condition occurs in roughly one in 2,500 pregnancies. I knew woefully little about miscarriage before it happened to me. The cover page of a scrapbook dedicated to Ayana and Vagner Lage's baby. We used a smartphone app to calculate my estimated due date: December 23, 2019. My fear faded and excitement took over once I showed the test to Vagner. It was welcome news, but I immediately worried we weren’t ready. When I first saw the positive pregnancy test, I felt afraid. We were still young - I was only 25 my husband was 26 - but we knew what we wanted. In early 2019, we decided to get serious about pregnancy. We shelved baby talk and checked items off our bucket list instead - buying a home, starting a business, vacationing in Europe. We wanted to start a family, but we lived in a one-bedroom apartment and didn’t have much. My husband, Vagner, and I started talking about babies a few months after our wedding. The odds of miscarriage were less than 3 percent at that point. I had gleefully shared a pregnancy announcement on social media after hearing the baby’s heartbeat. A million things raced through my mind as I listened to a genetic counselor gently explain our next steps, and one thought came to the forefront.
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